On Basenotes Induced Stress (OBIS)

In order to comply with new Government directives on stress, Basenotes has decided to initiate an online stress audit. The purpose of the audit is to determine whether a visit to the Basenotes site is stressful.

This, in turn, will provide evidence that every possible measure has been undertaken to minimise Basenotes Induced Stress Syndrome (BISS) and provide a defence in any court action designed to take Basenotes to the cleaners over watery eyes, trembley lips, dribbley noses or other personal dysfunction.

Please take a moment to think about the following feeling-related experiences attendant upon your visit:

• Do you feel intimidated by the technology, fearing that IT emanates bad Karma and / or acts as a transmitter of Alien Mind Rays which could, under certain circumstances and / or conditions, cause you to think "Why I am I wasting my life visiting this website"?

• Do you feel frustrated that you have not been offered a range of 'performance enhancing' preparations at bargain virtual prices which are guaranteed to make you both energetic and popular with species of every persuasion?

• Do you feel disappointed that the website does not offer you a fully comprehensive list of stress symptoms and a mechanism for positively matching these to your own circumstances (along with the option of a pre-formatted checklist which can be used by your solicitor to pursue Basenotes in the Courts)?
  

Thank you for the time taken to participating in this exercise. The results will be transmitted telepathically to all sentient beings in the Universe and used to refute any scurrilous court action that suggests that Basenotes is responsible for all 21st Century woes pertaining to the Human Condition.