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Porkometry - a statistical approach
During 2002 Basenotes observed that movement became difficult, doors became narrower and trousers became uncharacteristically taut - all sure signs that circumference was increasing and middle age spread spreading. Therefore, a diet was required to both transform Basenotes from a sphere to a stick and provide a focus for latent retentive tendencies.

 

A graph of calorific intake over a 32-week period is reproduced in the left panel.

From the graph we can observe several points of interest.

 
Monday to Wednesday are characterised by moderation. Since Basenotes is gainfully employed during this period, excess cannot be cultivated. Saturday is a pork-o-fest and understandably so. However, Thursday, Friday and Sunday seem to be higher than one would expect for moderation and less than one would expect from excess.
Looking at the calorific intake for each Thursday reveals a synergistic conflabulance between the peaks and Basenotes sloping off to the local alehouse for a feast and a snifter with a family member.
Friday reveals revels similar peaks assopciated with trips to Plymouth, accompanied by copious amounts of egg sandwiches en route and a evening session in the Dolphin.
Sunday peaks mirror Basenotes attendance at Premiership soccer matches on a Sunday afternoon, a traditional and quaint custom which requires a couple of pitchers of beer and a roast beef dinner (and sticky toffee pudding … and custard).

(And cheese and onion crisps.)

This analytical statistical exercise will prove useful during Basenotes's forthcoming dietary adventures. It has demonstrated why Thursday, Friday and Sunday will be excluded from the future programme.
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